A maze of back alley ways and secret passages

April 6, 2015

SEVENTEEN MONTHS, ahhh! no!!! Time is flying by so darn fast! This week has gone by so fast,
and was almost even crazier than the last. so much has happened and then there was conference.

First off, I am way excited to be back in Tijuana, but it is super cold here compared to Mexicali. I am literally shivering. I am in a zone that i have never been in before, in the Independencia stake. Its right by the ocean, which is probably why I am FREEZING. I'm also right by the border, and have an excelente view of San Ysidro from my area. Its a really old part of Tijuana, but its not ghetto. Its actually super seguro [safe]. It is a maze of roads and back alley ways and secret passages I feel like there should have filmed a speed chase in one of the Bourne movies here haha. There are houses just piled onto each other. Love it.

So this is the third area that I have opened on my mission, but it has still been uniquely challenging. The Lord has not let me get prideful, I feel such a desperation for His guidance. the whole ward
has really suffered and eveyone is just super desanimado. It reminds me a lot of Reforma when I first arrived there. All the members are so worried that we are going to give up on them. But I tell them not to worry. I have definitely learned that expectations are LIES! The Lord has promised success in every part of his vineyard, but poor expectations can ruin any chances of achieving success. I will admit, this week was rough. I have never spent so much time knocking doors and tracting without seeing the results. I was starting to stress out because finding investigators was our first priority and we were not seeing the results. I feel a lot of pressure (mostly self imposed) to
get this area up and running. 

I Just need to remember that I am here to serve God. I wondered if I just needed more patience or if there was something that i needed to change. I think it was a little bit of both. I learned so much from general conference. It was just perfect. Every talk was just what I needed. My favorite was the one about learning to hear the music. It is so easy to go through the motions of a missionary without really being focused on the purpose to bring others to Christ. So good!

Well the secretaries let them know last Sunday that we were coming on Monday, so our house was not ready for us. We are sleeping on the floor and today they should finally be putting the floor in the
bedrooms and fixing up the shower. Tomorrow the mission is going to bring us our fridge (YAY!!!) and the bed frames. Also our area book is the worst area I have ever seen. Basically useless haha. In the whole book, we only found 3 records with a complete address. two of those people have already moved. Hah!

I think it is such a beautiful opportunity to be here in this ward. It has been hard for me to keep control of my emotions. Basically I am becoming just like Dad haha! I feel so dependent on the atonement at every moment. I hate accepting that I can't do everything by myself, I really do, but it is the first step. I am Learning so much, haha. There is a scripture in DyC 43 that says that I am here to teach and not to be taught. Oops! :)


LOVE YOU ALL!!!
Elder Smalley