To my complete astonishment

October 6, 2014

Hey there!

Wow can you believe it? Exactly two years ago today the prophet announced the change of age of eligibility for missionaries! Also today I have 11 months. This is ridiculous. I feel like my time is being taken away from me and I can't do anything about it. I need more time!

Well I am just really super happy after general conference. IT WAS PERFECT. Exactly what I needed. I was just so happy all weekend. I wish I could tell you my favorite part but literally every single talk was the greatest so I won't. But I do have to say, President Uchtdorf's priesthood session talk was PERFECT! Absolutely amazing. A life changer. I feel like he was talking exactly to Elder Smalley on that one. So good. Also it was such a special moment for everyone when Elder Gavarret started speaking in SPANISH over the pulpit. I will NEVER forget that moment.

Maybe the conference really hit me because these past two weeks have just been especially hard. I don't know with everything that has been going on, all this new added stress and just the trials I've been given (blessed with) have just really left me asking "why me?". "What have I done wrong?" I have even been so mistaken as to ask "why is the Lord doing this to me?" 

I love this work, I love being here, but it's just been hard. At one point my zone leader told me to go read Alma 38:3-5. Alma 38 is one of my favorite chapters!!!! I use it all the time with my investigadores! I feel like I can relate a lot to Shiblon (as we say in Spanish). Ya know, we are both like the forgotten middle child of our families haha. How could I have forgotten something so basic??? The Lord gives trials to even the righteous. It doesn't mean He isn't proud of us, or that he doesn't love us. He lets us show our faith and patience 

I received even more insight in conference. From the minute it started Saturday morning I just felt the strongest peace. It was probably one of the most powerful experiences of my life! It just felt so good to finally have the spirit back! I had been missing it. And of course, from that moment on, I literally could NOT control my emotions. That was super embarrassing.

I had written down 3 specific questions that I wanted to find the answer to and to my complete astonishment, not only did I feel the answers through promptings, but they were bluntly answered in the words of the talks. All of them! Sorry guys, this was a conference for Elder Smalley. So cool. 

I would really just love to tell you that we are having tons of success and all that but this is all I got for right now. gimme one more week :)

Love you all so much!

Elder Smalley!